Telling others about your
divorce can feel awkward or uncomfortable. It is never in your best interest to
badmouth your soon-to-be-ex, but sometimes it is hard to figure out
what to stay. Here are a few tips on how to break the news of your dissolution.
Before sharing the news with anyone, take some time and figure out what
you would like to share. Was the decision mutual? If it was, say so. If
it was not, say something you are looking forward to, such as resolving
the dissolution with your spouse. The benefit of planning ahead is that
you get to decide what details you choose to share or not share.
Once you have a simple and concise announcement, try it out on a trusted
friend or family member and see how they respond. You can always tailor
the conversation to your audience and adjust as needed.
Tell the Listener What You Need
Others generally want to know how the divorce will affect them. Will they
have to “pick sides?” What can they do for you? Do you need
a getaway weekend? Need some help with a home project? Take this opportunity
to tell them exactly what they can do to help you, all the while steering
the conversation away from the divorce itself, and toward the future.
Understand Your Audience
At some point, you will inform someone of the divorce who has a prebuilt
opinion of your spouse. If you know a friend or family member did not
particularly like your spouse from the beginning, you should expect that
they will want to share their opinion with you. Others might make inappropriate
suggestions to “save” your relationship, and may even question
your commitment to the marriage.
If your audience is insensitive, don’t take offense to any of their
criticisms or suggestions. Let them know their opinion or statement makes
you uncomfortable or is hurtful. At the end of the day, they are not going
through the divorce; you are.
Stay Firm on Your Privacy
If you decide not to address certain areas of your divorce when breaking
the news to others, remain firm. Do not feel pressured to answer any questions
you don’t want to. If someone asks you an uncomfortable question,
quickly and briefly state “I don’t want to talk about that
right now,” or “I would appreciate you not asking me about
those things. It makes me uncomfortable.”
Most friends and family will respect your wishes for privacy; you just
have to make it explicitly clear that you have no intention of answering
their question. If you
want to answer their questions, however, you absolutely have the opportunity to do so.
If You Are Seeking a Divorce, Contact Jerry Loftin & Associates Today
– (817) 429-2000.
Filing for a divorce is an emotional and complicated process. Our
Fort Worth family law attorneys at Jerry Loftin & Associates can help simplify the process. We offer
professional legal help for a variety of divorce cases, including
child support and
custody, alimony, and division of assets. With more than 65 years of combined
experience, our divorce lawyers can assist you throughout the entire legal process.
Schedule a free consultation today
with our Fort Worth divorce attorneys.